I went to Bible study this morning..always a great equalizer.   One of the women in our discussion said she often feels that the day can go one of two ways:

This is going to be a total disaster.  Or, we can turn this into something good.

It sounds a little silly but true.  Because how many opportunities a day do we as moms find ourselves at the fork in the road?  For me it could be at 4 o’clock while I’m trying to lend a hand with homework or while trying to get 3 little people into their snowpants, boots, coats, hats and mittens and off to their various schools on time. Or even when cooking dinner.  Sometimes it is a total disaster and sometimes we find a way to make it work.  But it is nice to have a place to go..like this bible study where you can honestly share your struggles and get to laugh at some that aren’t your own.  Do you have a place to go like that?

I have this little cherry hat.  I treasure it because my grandmother knit it for me when I was in elementary school.  I rediscovered it a few years ago when my parents moved to a condo and cleaned out their house.  At the time I thought it was sweet and that some day my daughter would wear it…since she’s named after my grandmother.  But then I tried it on and it still fit!  Every time I wear that hat, which is nearly every day in the windy city, I get a compliment on it.  Like a sundae, it is the cherry on top to brighten a gray day.  But, like me, it is starting to show its age.  

I try to mix it up with a hat from j. crew so the cherry hat doesn’t look too loved.  The j. crew hat looks hand knit..big pom pom on top and flaps for my ears with braids coming down from them with big pom poms on the ends, but it’s just not the same.  I bought it the winter I was pregnant with my son to keep the cold out when I walked the dog. One night, standing in the dog park, a big dog ran up and bit one of those pom poms off and nearly knocked me over.  When he realized it wasn’t a tennis ball he dropped it..slobber and all.  I had the dry cleaner sew it back on.  Interestingly, my son can’t stand this hat.  If I wear it when I pick him up at school- even if I’m just waiting in the car, he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me.

So, what to do with the cherry hat…frame it as a keepsake?  Wear it to death and then learn how to knit?  That hat to me is love.  Now, if only the poncho she knit for me still fit.

Tonight we had breakfast for dinner.  What else do you have when it’s freezing cold out and a few days ago we needed to wear boots up to our armpits because we were having thunderstorms in February.  The only problem with pancakes for dinner is that it doesn’t go so well with wine. 

I am praying for a good night’s sleep because ever since taking the kids to see a nice little movie on Presidents’ Day, we’ve had a visitor in our room complaining of nightmares 20 times a night.  I watched the Supernanny last night and I am certain she said that the first time they get out of bed you usher them back and say in a calming voice, “it’s bedtime darling” and tuck them in.  The second time it’s “bedtime,” and the third is silent.  Sort of like the B-I-N-G-O song.  Then they showed a close-up shot of the the little lambs sleeping in their bed.  She didn’t cover the part where the darling screams when you attempt to leave the room and wakes up all the other little lambs.

My sister-in-law has this fabulous friend, Rebecca.  Any time I’m coming to town, we try to set up drinks or lunch with her.  You probably know someone like her…she’s stylish and witty and seems so together.  I saw her in January during my little leave of absence and was surprised when she shared with us a book that she has been reading.  It is called “Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box:  cut yourself some slack (and raise great kids) in the age of extreme parenting,” by Ann Dunnewold.   The author introduces us to the idea of the “perfectly good (enough) mom,”  and explains that the notion of  ”perfect” mom cannot co-exsist with the reality of raising small children.  So now we have another reason to like Rebecca:  she’s real and lets us in and makes us feel like we can be ourselves around her.  We all need a friend like that. 

I have felt the pressure of making sure my child is on the right track.  For example, summer is four months away and I do not have my kids’ activities mapped out.  I don’t even have the spring activities mapped out.  This makes me a little anxious but I have to reign myself in sometimes and know that it will all be okay.  It also helps that my husband assures me that just because our 8 yr old hasn’t taken junior golf YET, he may still turn out to be a fine golfer. This book is on my nightstand now and since the library won’t let me renew it (a little matter of $24 in fines) I plan to go out and buy a copy because I have a feeling I’ll go to it again and again.

One more thing- My mom has a friend, chef Faye, who shares cooking ideas at www.fayefood.com.  Since Faye teaches cooking classes in Italy, her recipes almost always include olive oil.  Now Faye has access to the finest ingredients to be found,  but in her recipes she tells us to use “your best olive oil.”  That is different from “THE best,” and I love it because it is another reminder that OUR best is perfectly good enough. 

Babe-o’s turned three today!  I guess I can’t keep calling her a baby anymore.   When I asked her what kind of cake she wanted ( princesses, dora etc.) she said, “all many cakes!”  That’s my girl.

There is a little sadness that comes with knowing your last baby is growing up.  I am starting to believe that the bittersweet feeling will always be there no matter how many babies I have.  When my inner voice says I cannot have another oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, it only makes me want more.  And when I defy that voice and go for it, it’s the last cookie that sometimes puts me over the edge.  I heard someone say that when you feel like you want to have another baby just get a puppy which sounds crazy to me and besides, babe-o’s is allergic to dogs.

I loved being pregnant and even going thru labor..because in the end you meet this amazing little person and your husband may surprise you with jewelry!  God does have a sense of humor because my first two babies arrived during award show season.   So all those years I complained of working non-stop and never getting to actually watch the Golden Globes or Oscars, I got to enjoy them through labor before I got whisked off for emergency c-sections before the big prize was announced.  I was shopping when I went into labor three weeks early with my daughter.  My water broke while standing in Talbots and my mom and aunt said if the baby was a boy we should name him Oscar or Talbot.  I still haven’t forgotten that they made me stop in Pottery Barn on the way to the car.       

Happy Valentine’s Day!  I know I’m a day early but now I can appear to be organized and on top of things!  I loved Valentine’s as a kid…turning a shoe box into a mailbox and taking it to school to be filled with the little cards.  One year I had Scarlet Fever and was devastated I had to stay home. 

 This year I’ll help my 8 and 4 yr olds get their cards ready to take to school: Shrek for him and Barbie for her.  I’m sure I’ll be amazed at all of the home-made cards that come home in their bag. Not to mention all of the other creative things.  My sister-in-law said she was feeling pretty good about her kids’ valentines until she visited a neighbor who was making heart shaped glycerin soaps for her kids to hand out.   

For us girls, the media are telling our boys to buy the usual suspects (plot spoiler ahead but act surprised and delighted if he comes home with the following)

• chocolates
• roses
•  jewelry
• sexy undergarments

I would be happy with any of these:

• Graeters Mocha Chip
• a poem
• take-out thai food
• a weekend at the beach (if we’re dreaming here)
• choreplay

Could someone please tell me what a man wants for Valentines Day?  I have been married ten years and I still don’t know.  The ads tell us we should buy him some red silk boxers. Has anyone ever done that? These are things I could make for my man:

• a reservation
• cheese fondue
• shortbread heart cookies

But somehow I think the biggest turn-on for him would be if I organized the pile of snow gear and book bags by our garage door and took a look at our budget.

Wherever you are and whoever you are snuggling up with, I wish you a happy heart.

Not so long ago we had a snow day.  It takes a lot for the school district here to make that call and I could hear the plows working throughout the night, so I was not expecting it.  The day starts with such promise!  I’ll make a special breakfast I think to myself and we’ll spend the day doing arts and crafts and playing candyland.  Belgian waffles (from a box mix) with real maple syrup and crisp bacon.  The breakfast is on the table getting cold and I can’t get anyone to come.   When I get upset my hubby asks why I do this to myself when the kids would be happy with toaster waffles.  I’m doing it because I want to eat it I say. 

By ten o’clock the kids have watched enough SquarePants and fought over the computer.  What did we do when we were kids and had a snow day? We had plenty in Ohio.  We had real friends, not the virtual ones on club penguin, and we went outside and played with them!  That is, once we pulled the bread bags over our shoes so we could slip them into the rubber boots with the little buckle closures.  I’m not sure why we didn’t have real snow boots back then but they worked.

We did make it outside to build snowmen with carrot noses and cherry tomato for eyes because I couldn’t come up with anything else. Raisins are too small and who has coal? My son lost interest because every time he turned around babe-o’s was eating them. 

Inside for hot chocolate and some computer time for me.  While I was on the phone getting some technical help, the kids decided to jump into a HUGE box filled with packing peanuts ( a box I kept telling myself for a week I need to take out)  “Hot tub,” my son yells and then the fun begins.  My friend on the phone tells me just to let them do it..what harm is it now…it will keep them occupied.  Never, never again!  Those peanuts had baby peanuts and they traveled all over the house.  The computer room had them covering the floor and climbing the grass-cloth wall paper.  We could scoop them up but not get them back into the box because of all the STATIC.  When I finally lost it and was about to cry, my 8 yr old saved the day with his laughter because they were covering my hair and stuck to my glasses. Babe-o’s was covered like a bee-keeper. Good times!   

Roots can be good.  I’m not talking about the zipper that appears on my head every six weeks but the roots that tug at us every so often and remind us who we are and where we came from.  With a special birthday coming ’round the bend, I’ve been feeling my roots pulling at me lately. 

When I was in the working world, CNN like many companies had this little thing called the “leave of absence” for those who were burned out and needed a break from the fast pace of television news.  Well, not too long ago I found myself, in my smallest voice, telling my husband of ten years that I thought I needed to take one of those.  The carpools, laundry, homework, sibling rivalry rut was starting to wear me down.  Since we met in the newsroom, that was all I needed to say. 

So.. a few weeks and much planning later I found myself headed back to Ohio University..where I graduated many many years ago and had not been back since.  All I had was a day but it was truly a gift.  I felt all the excitement of seeing the campus for the first time with none of the fear (will people like me? will I graduate in 4 years? will I gain the freshman 15?) I had the pleasure of meeting my favorite Journalism professor for coffee. As we talked and walked around campus, I felt like I was once again trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.  It is easy to lose yourself when some days it’s a struggle just to get everyone’s teeth brushed and find them a matching pair of socks.  There will always be a list of things I don’t accomplish each day.  Right now it includes: making the beds, emptying the dishwasher, balancing the checkbook and finally getting some photos in the albums. But looking at the bigger picture, I like to remind myself that as moms, we are doing important work here.  And there are amazing little things that happen each day- if we pay attention.  

My J-Prof. was one of a few people who has encouraged me to start a blog.  And while I won’t be writing breaking news here, they’re my stories to tell.  It is my hope that you will find pieces of yourself in them too.   

Our roots are calling us..and whatever it is- our family, an old friend, our writing, our faith, or just a state of mind, we must get back to it and see what grows.