My girls were playing in our living room while I was making dinner the other night.  It has sort of turned into their playroom since half of it has no furniture yet.  Anyway, I heard Babe-o’s tell Ham that they should put diapers on their dolls.  It wasn’t until they had gone to bed and I was picking up when I saw that they had “diapered” them with maxi-pads!

Why is it that anything you buy from a roadside stand just tastes better?  Every day I’ve found some reason to head to Joseph’s roadside stand in Naples, NY.  I can get a little stir crazy and yesterday I had two reasons to hop in the car.  One, to pick up an antibiotic for my son because as babe-o’s says, “his nose is not working.” And two,  we were out of peaches.  Today just six ears of corn, fresh spinach and a wedge of watermelon.  Honestly, they could probably sell anything there and I’d go for it.  Too bad we won’t be here when the concord grapes are ready but I’ve already bought two jars of grape pie filling to go.

My kids remember everything.  We mentioned that we may stop at Dunkin Donuts on the way out of town which we forgot to do.  It took all of our attention and energy just to get the bags and little people in the car.  I only had to return to the house once.  After lunch my son announced we never got the donuts!  He was outraged and called us liars.

Men can -and are happy to travel long distances without saying a word.  My husband made it across the entire Ohio turnpike without speaking.  Children, however, cannot remain quiet for very long which is why I was glad I had my Ipod to listen to.  My children also never napped which is why I pretended I was.

When you vacation with large groups of people your children will do things you never thought you’d let them do.  Here, try filling in the blank “I would never let my child ____________.”  And sure enough, after three days you do.

Going on vacation with children is really not all that relaxing.

It takes awhile to get used to the isolation of the country: no bars on my cellphone, no computer (except at the library) and no television, radio or Chicago Tribune delivered to your door.  I tell myself that taking a break from all media is a good thing.  And, for the kids it is.  They haven’t asked to watch tv once and today when it rained we worked on puzzles for hours.

The family “wagon” is packed and nearly ready to go.  Well actually it’s in the shop getting new brakes and a new side mirror since it was being held on with duct tape.  Nothing says togetherness more than two days in a car driving out East.  We joke that we are now in the honeymoon phase of travel..no one in diapers or nursing anymore so conceivably we should be able to pop in a dvd ang go! 

 Now for the dvds…I recently had a shocker when we watched Tom Hanks in “Big” for family movie night.  Family movie night was instituted at Chez H. during our long and dreary winter and is really just a fancy way to say we are staying in tonight.  The kids loved it because they got to eat fun dinner food in the tv room.  ”Big” must have been released before Mr. Jack Valenti and the Motion Picture Assoc. instituted the PG-13 rating but they should slap one on it because my son can quote the following gems from the movie:

“what the f***!”

“give me the God d*** ball!”

“next time watch where the f*** you’re going!”

“who the f*** do you think you are? 

and finally, “who the h,e,(double toothpicks) do you think you are?”

Therefore, I’m open to suggestions for some wholesome family rentals.

Do you ever start things and then have a hard time finishing them?  Ever walk into a room to get something and then when you get there forget what it was you needed?  I recently read an article on Attention Deficit Disorder and I am convinced I have it!  The clincher was reading one of the questions in the quiz, “do you have a hard time finishing a book or have to reread the page you just read because your mind was wandering?” I was reading a book at the pool the other day (before the babe-o’s scare) and my son asked me how many times I had read that book.  “What do you mean?” I asked.  “I’ve never read it before.”  When he told me he’d seen me reading it for like a hundred years, I started to wonder.  Maybe I’m a reader who likes to savor her books…or maybe it’s just momnesia…

The suprising thing about drowning, or near drowning is that it is silent.  I always assumed that the person in trouble would be splashing around screaming for help.  This weekend I was steps away from Babe-o’s when she has got into trouble in the water and I was unaware she was going down.  The other disturbing details were that my children were the ONLY kids in the pool, there was a lifeguard on duty just three feet away and my husband and I were sitting RIGHT THERE!   

Maybe we let our guard down because the pool was so quiet and the lifeguard’s only job was to watch three children.  In any case, Babe-o’s, who’s three, was playing on the steps of the shallow end.  I think she forgot she had taken off her floaties and she moved off the steps and into water that was over her head.  There was no flailing or screaming and my husband and I were reading our newspaper and did not notice right away.  I happened to look up and realized she was under the water. It seemed like in slow motion I yelled and my husband jumped up and scooped her out of the pool just as the lifeguard realized what was going on.  Three adults not even three feet away from a drowning child and none of us noticed.  I will never again assume that anyone is watching my child for me and I won’t be reading anything while the kids swim.

1. grocery shopping with any regularity or with a list which is why we are out of: saran wrap, wax paper and any other item to wrap the food that we don’t have in our house.  Good thing darling husband works steps away from Trader Joe’s..and I can email him a quick list at 530: two buck chuck and pulled pork to go on the little artisan rolls. 

2. cleaning the house – we are never home and when we are we are exhausted from summer activities

3. the laundry – the dirty clothes are like kudzu strewn about the basement.  Before you wikipedia it, if you ever lived in the south or driven through you have noticed the vine that grows over trees, engulfing everything in sight and then choking it off.

4. the budget- see explanation #2.  However, I have darling husband who emails me to remind me to look at it.

Babe-o’s jumped, or flung herself off the diving board for the first time today!  Of course she was wearing her strawberry shortcake floaties which is much more preferable than mommy treading water and pretending I could actually catch her.  She was trying to keep up with Ham who just jumped off without her floaties for the first time. I can’t believe I was ever on the highschool swim team with the pre-dawn practices and freezing cold water.  No wonder I have an adverse reaction when the girls ask me to swim with them.  I really don’t want to be the mom who never gets in or when she does, won’t get her hair wet.    Unfortunately I promised the girls that before the summer was over I’d do a dive off the board. 

After our adventures we came home to eat berry crisp until our teeth turned blue…to match our lips from the pool of course.

One of the joys of turning 40 is that I now qualify to receive a mammogram every year.  It feels like a right of passage.  Sort of like getting my driver’s license.  And like the driver’s license exam there is a written portion and the hands-on or road test.  I scheduled my appointment in the windy city with the hope that I could make a day of it.  I have to say that the whole experience went well but there seems to be a veil of mystery surrounding it.  There’s even confusion over when to get your first mammogram. Some doctors say 35 while others say it’s okay to wait until 40.  We are told to be proactive when it comes to our health and ask questions but when it comes to answers, good luck.  It’s a lot like going to the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz.  And like the wizard, the radiologist stays behind his little curtain never to be seen or heard from.  I’m still waiting for the results but I’ve already decided that next year I’ll try to go with a friend.