There were small gifts hiding in plain sight last weekend.  I went to Michigan to be with my best friend as her husband faces the end stages of cancer.  She is fortunate to have a nurses aide, hospice and the love of family and friends around her.  I felt pretty useless but was able to help out with her two young boys. 

First on our list was a trip to the barber shop…her two-year-old’s very FIRST trip.  He had a lollipop in each hand to keep him happy and when one dropped on the floor, I quickly wiped the hair off and gave it back to him.  I told his older brother, “what happens at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop!”  That afternoon brought some rain and we watched him as he danced around trying to catch the drops in his little mouth.  Hard to believe he doesn’t know what is going on but thankful for the reminder of the joy in living each moment.

As my mom’s friend Gayle would say, “it’s time to put on your big girl panties.”  I am trying to get it together to travel to help my dearest friend T. and her husband.  You see we all met when we were freshman in college.  T. and I were silly sorority girls at a fraternity party when she met her husband and I’ve known them both for more than half my life.  And now T’s husband is dying of cancer.  And what can I possibly say or do to make anything better? 

I’ve been through my dad’s death from cancer..was there at the end.  And even though it was terrible..I could make some sense of it.  But there doesn’t seem to be a way to wrap my brain around this one.  Young people with little children shouldn’t get sick like this.  

But I have hope that this weekend there will be a small gift in just being together.

We just returned from our annual weekend at the beach with four families, fourteen children, one puppy and a whole lot of fun.  I think this  is our seventh year and it is definitely getting easier- no more baby monitors to bring or portable cribs, and no one getting up before the sun.  As Ham and I walked the beach finding treasures for each other like beach glass and heart shaped stones I couldn’t think of any place else I’d rather be.

With the new school year about to kick off I’m thinking of some new habits I want to start like giving the kids an allowance.  We tried it before but our follow-through has been pretty poor.  And we need to start giving them their own money so we can fine them when we need to!  Like for lost library books..etc.  Does anyone have a good system they use?  Do you tie it to chores? Would my four-year-old get the same amount as my nine-year-old?  He really needs some spending money as he has started wearing Axe body spray and asks me to buy a new one nearly every time I head to the store!

When did the school supply list start to include things like ziploc bags, paper towels and other ridiculous items?  What happened to the fun of picking out fancy folders and the crayola big box of crayons with built in sharpener?  Our PTO offers the school “paks,” which means that they do the shopping for you and everything you need comes in a cute little box.  The only problem is that once you get to school all supplies get dumped into a community pile.  Try explaining that to a six-year-old.

Don’t you wish there was a vaccination for this? No time to write anymore- I am up to my eyeballs filling out those health forms for school.

I took the kids to a children’s museum yesterday..one that offers “hands on learning.” I think that is secretly code for “germs everywhere, play at your own risk,” and we will probably come down with the swine flu tomorrow.  But everyone had a great time and I enjoyed watching their imaginations at work. This museum had a play grocery store, sandwich shop  and a veterinary hospital.  Ham put on a doctor’s coat to take care of a stuffed dog while babe-o’s decided to be a dog and climbed into a cage and shut the door.   When she started chewing on the toys I had to draw the line.

My mother-in-law liked to boast that she was a “warrior woman,” after surviving several nights alone in the country.  In a house, mind you, but way out in the country without a neighbor in sight and lots of spooky noises coming from the woods all around. She she might not choose to do again any time soon but it was good to know she made it through. 

I felt like a warrior woman this weekend when my husband went off on his annual no-nonsense golfing trip with the guys: no wives, no hostess gifts, no fancy food, just golf and maybe a meatball or two. I stayed home with the kids- one with a bad ear and eye and another with a bad temper. I was tempted to load the kids in the car and go see my mom but we stayed put. And now I’m glad I did..it’s good to know you’ll survive.